Life After Suicide

The news, once again is covering desperately sad stories of more families affected by suicide.

Suicide has affected my family and if I am honest part of me has feelings of anger along with incredible sadness when I hear about another sad loss.  The anger is about the devastation it leaves behind and the sadness that another life has been taken unnecessarily.

I, too, am a life long sufferer of anxiety and depression I understand the feelings of hopelessness, despair, isolation and fear.

A friend posted some words this morning that I wanted to share and I have their permission to do so:

“I am so sad to hear of another suicide… Keith Flint, now this young man Mike Thalassitis.  I know I have shared many times of losing my mum and dad to suicide when I was 8 and suffering from anxiety and depression is torture.

Awareness has improved but it’s still happening way to often.  It’s not selfish to need help, when you are that low you can see no way out and do not think of the consequences. But the pain, the heart ache! This kind of loss means you have missed out on so much unconditional love and support.  Living your life without the people you adore leaves a huge whole in you heart and life.  I have had a lot of family turn their back on me as they are fed up of hearing how I struggling and their reaction breaks me even more.

Please, please if you are suffering talk to anyone you can, even that call to the Samaritans might just save your life.  Don’t feel like a burden as I have because it doesn’t help at all.  Just reach out as someone out there loves you to bits for who you are!”

Powerful words spoken from the heart!

Life can through all sorts at us be it money worries, losing a job, being unhappy or feeling bullied.  We have to face loss and life changes that are beyond our control. control.  Sadly life doesn’t come with and instruction manual, we need each other for support kindness and emotional support and advise.

If you are struggling please reach out, and if you think someone is struggling please take the time to reach out, we all have the power to save a life.

 

Suncliffe Hotel Bournemouth

Morning, hope you are all well this morning. It’s a little grey here but at least it’s dry.

Just wanted to share this place with you. Last year I was looking for a wee treat for him indoors. It was a big birthday and wanted some way of celebrating in a low key way. Neither of us like parties, being the centre of attention or really posh restaurants. Don’t get me wrong we like good food and don’t mind paying for it but we need to feel comfortable.

My funds were pretty tight but knowing we both love the sea I booked this hotel. I am always a little scared booking accommodation in busy towns. I have stayed in some really bad places!

I chose this one as it’s just a bit out of town but over looked the sea which was what I was after. It also had a pool which would be useful if it rained. Managing to secure a room with a balcony overlooking the sea sealed the deal for me!

The hotel is situated on the coast road just between Bournemouth and Southbourne, it offered parking for a small fee,

a bonus as parking in the area is expensive.

First impressions were impressive, very modern and chic blended with a traditional conservatory containing the bar and restaurant. The staff were friendly and helpful which works for me.

Thankfully the weather was fabulous so we wanted to get out and explore. That’s what we do. We found our room and this is the only negative. I hate writing negative comments but feel I should be honest. Our room was huge with an en-suite bathroom and the balcony. The room was tired and dated though, which was disappointing.

As the weather played ball we were out and about and the room disappointment didn’t bother us, it was clean and the balcony was great. The staff new the trip was for a birthday and left us voucher for a glass of bubbles in the bar and some chocolate cakes. Such a thoughtful gesture made up for the room.

We ate in the hotel restaurant which and weren’t disappointed with our steak meals. The breakfast the following morning was also very good.

Would I stay here again ? yes I would, we left very happy. I am sure the hotel are working on upgrading the rooms. The running of these huge old buildings must be astronomical and I appreciate that.

Thanks Suncliffe for a lovely stay!

Stourhead

I love Stourhead. Have you been ?

I remember going as a child with grandparents but only returned again a couple of years ago. It holds a very special place in my heart, it was our first official day out as a couple! Like the Vyne, Stourhead has a stunning lake, a house, a restaurant, a shop with plants in as well as a second hand book shop – I love these! There is a pub, ice cream parlour a fame shop and an art gallery.

There are a variety of footpaths taking you to the house and or around the lake. There are rock caves, one of which has a seat and you can look out over the lake, there are all sorts of buildings to wander around, all have their own history. The grounds are simply stunning and there are lots of seats to sit and enjoy the surroundings.

Old Wardour Castle

Another Saturday morning, another road trip. A beautiful drive of about an hour takes us here!

The roads to get here were real country roads and arriving at the castle was a little unnerving. We couldnt see much of the castle, its protected by trees so we were wondering if this has been worth the journey! We followed the uphill path, not too steep or far and found the way in. There is a small shop for tickets and information.

From the shop we followed a path that took us to a small beautiful building with large stained glass windows and you could go in and have a look around. It would make a lovely wedding venue which they do offer.

The ruins were amazing, so much more than we expected. We have similar ruins close to home and but you can only walk around the outside. We thought this one was going to be the same until we explored and found staircases and rooms to be explored. We the were exploring for ages, finding stair cases which lead to various levels of the castle. The views are outstanding.

There is a smaller stone cave like building across the lawn which is another must to look around. Perfect for a game of hide and seek!

We thoroughly enjoyed our visit and it would be lovely on a warmer day for a picnic. There seems to be footpaths in the woods which look like a great place to wander around too.


Sugar! Are You Worried?

Now I need a little help, do you worry about the amount of sugar you and your family eat?

I don’t mean the natural sugar from fruit, I am talking about the sugar added to our food. I avoid products that say low sugar/fat.  They usually contain chemicals that are not very healthy for us and to be honest they scare me.

My big concern though is sugar, everything you buy has sugar.

The only way to really be in control of what you eat is to make everything yourself which is fab in practise but time doesn’t always allow.

Love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

 

Visits

I am a lucky girl, my partner loves organising surprise trips out for us at weekends.

We both love being outdoors in the countryside or at the beach. No we are not sunbathers. We prefer walking, exploring, he takes photos and I enjoy plants, gardens, architecture and the sea just soothes my soul. Doesn’t matter if its calm or wild the sea just is a natural medicine to me.

I used to live by the sea and I miss it dreadfully.

Anyway I will sharing reports on our visits with you too!

Journalling!

Hi,

Hope you are managing to keep safe, well and warm on such a grey day!

Do you journal/ keep a diary?  Do you find it useful ?   I am a great one for just bottling things up, keeping emotions locked in and hidden.  There are times when the pressure bursts which usually leaves me in floods of uncontrollable tears.  Doesn’t happen often but it’s pretty severe when it does happen and its not always convenient.  No one wants a work colleague who is sobbing and sniffling over nothing in particularly important, but that is just who I am.

Part of my self care is learning to let go of emotions in a healthy manner and journaling is part of the journey.  I always used to start writing Diaries as a teenager but never kept them up.

Some years ago though I did a bit of counselling skills training.  That’s how I learnt how important and helpful journaling can be.  I don’t write every day, maybe not weekly but when it do it unravels my head.  It might be writing certain words, feelings, seeing them on paper makes them real and you have shared in a private manner which for me is essential.  I really struggle sharing my feelings with anyone, I can listen to others feeling and empathise well but I ignore my own.  I am realising this comes from my parents.  I am in no way knocking them here, they parented as they felt correct and they themselves had parents who just got on with life and surviving was all that really mattered.  I guess that is what war does to you.

But here I am facing 50 and totally rubbish and emotional wellbeing.  I know I am not alone here, many of my friends are too. That’s where counsellors come in. The little bit of counsellor skills training I did was fascinating,  I wasn’t able to continue, it highlighted some serious issues in my life which I had been brushing under the carpet for a long time, but I learned that I see certain things in life as a child.  And things have started to make sense. No one taught me how to deal with loss, grief, stressful situations.

I treated myself to a really pretty notepad and a fountain pen and started to write. Somehow this felt luxurious!

I have kept the note books and read them from time to time.  It is interesting, I can write and read words that I wouldn’t say or share to anyone verbally.  For example I can write about feeling fragile, hurt, feeling let down by others.  I would struggle to share these words and their context verbally, somehow it would feel disloyal to share some of the causes or admit to anyone.  But writing it all down clears my head and allows me to move forward.

In fact I have found that I love words and writing and feel strong enough to share with you.

Looking forward to sharing lots with you!

Take care and toodles for now.